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Sex
Don't have it. It is very painful and Jesus would be watching the whole time. It's the most disgusting thing two people can do to one another. Whenever people have sex, Stephen cries. Never have sex. Never. If you have sex even once it could be deadly. Whenever you have sex the terrorists win. If you even think about sex the terrorists win. Sex is only alright in certain circumstances (see below) and even then it is still possible God will strike you down if you enjoy it too much. If you see two or more people having sex, they are hurting each other, unless it is wheelbarrow style. According with Republicans, sex happens when a man's penis enters a female vagina, then the man pulls it out and then in, in and out, in and out. Until his penis falls off. then it grows back and starts again. it The Wørd GOP Approved Flavors of Sex * A wet wipe * Yo mama * Don't Ask, Don't Tell * Abstinence * Man on dog * Man on Child * Man on dog on Child * Man on * Man on shotgun/9mm hand gun * Man on God * Priest on Child * Man on Bear * Congressman on IM * Missionary Democrat Approved Flavors Of Sex * With a Cigar * Masturbation * Gay * Lesbian * Bear on woman Good Places to Have Sex * School * Kitchen * Connecticut's 2nd district * Broom Closet * Motor Vehicle See: Drive-In Movie Bad Places to Have Sex * England * Jason Voorhee's House * Parent's Bedroom * Ears * Nostril Sex In College College is the time and place to experiment, having sex with such partners as tree stumps and parking meters Also you get a free pass at having used condoms on your coffee table when friends come to visit. Make sure you always stretch in college before sex and remember your in your prime and if you blow don't inhale too fast. Lies As the sex workers tell it, the consensus is that Republicans demand more outrageous acts. Mistress Natasha estimates that her clients are half Democrat, half Republican, but says, “Republicans are way freakier, probably because they’re way more repressed. They can’t be kinky with their wives.” She thinks it’s the submissive tendencies that create the conservative political identity, not the other way around: “In their everyday professional life, they are so scared that anybody would ever think they were submissive that they overcompensate and come across as this demanding, hard person. I believe that well before they knew whether they were going to be a Democrat or a Republican, they knew they wanted to be tied up and beaten.” See Also *Vagina *Penis *breasts *Heterosexual *Virginality *craigslist Do Not Also See *Condom *Birth Control * Homosexual * Pages External Tubes *Sexy Time Chat *Wikipedia's protected sex *Wikipedia's abstinence education *Milwaukee's new anti-sex law *Israel unveils new "Aphrodisiac Gum", great hit with teens! *Evidence that Sex confuses and corrupts our children *GOP demands a "Sex Tax": Married Couples will be targeted by IRS *List of "words" that must never use *Sex in all of its disgusting glory *More Sex in NY *Sex Hotel Opening Day a Disaster *Sexual Deviant Perverts start new movement *Museum to hold "Sex Event" *Real American Woman to hunt down Erotic Writers *More evidence that women dont like sex *Zombie Sex porno sicks nation! *Strippers supports socialized medicine! *piktures of wymin wearing provokative clothes *America turning a nation of deviants *Sex brings monies to the free market! *GOP to support ad agency *Sex crazed couple jailed for traumatizing Nation *Real American dad teacher son the importance of reproduction *How sex continues to undermine America's safety *Sex Workers protesting against God *Slutty women cant appreciate good Sex *Republican uses free market to sell sex stuff *Sex is not for everyone. You need smarts for it *There is no sex on the Bible, no sir *How sex is being used to undermine the government *Feminazi to use sex as a weapon of peace. The horror... *More lies about Republicans and sex. *Link between global warming and sex?